Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Campaign for Hyrule Castle to be immediately relocated to the #1 position

May Din, Nayru and Farore banish you to the Dark World for the heresy you speak.

Why don't we settle this by taking an actual virtual tour through the castle which you have so irresponsibly ranked. Then afterwards we can sit down with a digital reality console (a Wii perhaps?) and wander about King Poseidon's Palace or the Fortress of Solitude at our own leisure… oh wait, we can't.

In fact, I challenge you to find a castle on the list that comes with a better physical description than one we can draw from our own electronic observations.

One that immediately jumps off the screen at me is its controversial exterior. Though one may write it off as impractical for any benevolent ruler to construct such a castle without complete disregard for his kingdom's welfare reserves, Hyrule's unique features are founded on ancient and time-tested construction techniques.  These radical buttresses and abundance of towers are actually modeled after one of the most well known, and mysterious utopias of all time. I am of course referring to the great city of Atlantis.

On this subject, Daniel Jackson, Phd of Archaeology and Xenolinguistics observes:

Hyrule's break with convention and culture should not be read as just another inflated rulers attempt to attain immortality, but it should rather be studied as a well researched and deliberate approximation to a sacred geometry shared only by crystalline structures and the E8 Lie Group.

Amen Dr. Jackson! So I think its pretty obvious that instead of merely borrowing from this "study in perfection" we should hold it as an ideal model, and refer to it continually, so we may build a more perfect home for our more perfect society, like the Hylians and like the Atlantans before them.

I have created a powerpoint presentation to prove Dr. Jackson and my theory (best viewed fullscreen).


  1. I wasn't ready for that level of awesome.

  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

  3. the security word I just had to type in to post the last comment was "diabilly". The existence of that is going to bother me for awhile. is it like a diabetic Billy, or disability with out the negative constants, or something else? haunting

  4. You got spunk kid, I'll give you that. Truly a convincing argument, but, nonetheless there are holes that i shall soon exploit.

    In a few days the real #1 castle of all fictional times will be shown to you all. Then, we shall have our throwdown. CREATE THE POLL!

  5. and by the way, that powerpoint is amazing haha